Sometimes I just wanna grab people's hands,
or even more pathetically,
their sleeves
and beg them not to leave me.

"don't go"
"stay a little longer"
"don't abandon me"
"i'm worried you don't care"
"i'm worried you'll stop caring"
"I want you by my side"
"i'm pathetic"
"i'm worried people will leave me"
"please don't leave me"

and i'm hopeful that if i'm lonely, when i'm lonely
i could call someone, txt someone
and they'll say
"sure. i'll keep you company until you don't feel lonely anymore"
"we can just sit there in silence and watch the leaves fall"

I type and retype the numbers, the messages
and then I delete them.
and I hide in the library.
ashamed at my stupidity.

_